FREE DOWNLOADS
SITEMAP
CONTACT US
Search:
9.6Career Tip - When You are Dealing with an Opponent, Start With What You Have in Common
9.6/10
109
votes
1/20/2009
How to turn an adversary into a partner by focusing on what you have in common.
Don’t start out by pointing out your differences. Put yourself in their shoes. Come up with ways that you are the same. Interests you share. Start out by discussing the similarities. Before the meeting, really think about it. Really think about what they want and need. How will they think about an issue? Then, note where you have similar goals and similar stances on the issues. Start out by discussing the issues that you agree upon. You may find that the disagreements are minute. You may agree on the major issues.

By starting with issues that you agree upon, you get the person saying “Yes”. Once they agree with you on some things it is easier to agree with other things. They will keep saying “Yes”!

Because of the psychological principle of consistency, we want to be consistent with out statements. If we start agreeing with someone, and say it out loud, we automatically want to act in agreement with this public statement. We will actual tend to agree more once we say it out loud. Start with things you have in common and it will be easier to get the person to agree later.
Vote for this tip?

If you like this tip, read these books!:

Click here to see all of our Career tips

Here are some other related tips:
Encourage Other People to Talk About Themselves
Avoid Useless Arguments
Never Show Contempt for Others

Further Information
Consistency Principle
Leave a Comment About the Tip: 'When You are Dealing with an Opponent, Start With What You Have in Common'
Your Screen Name:
(optional)
Comment Title:
Comment:
CommentsShowing Comment 1 - 3 of 3
1JpubelOmcNnLt
Touchdown! That's a ralely cool way of putting it!
Comment 1 On:When You are Dealing with an Opponent, Start With What You Have in Common
Added By: MRSzMeNHGTgxkqaUjp
Added On: 4/25/2011 6:44:45 PM
2Quit Calling People Opponents
Don't even call them that! Look for what you have in common. How can you both win. Those are the only deals you should make, win-win.
Comment 2 On:When You are Dealing with an Opponent, Start With What You Have in Common
Added On: 2/9/2009 6:45:12 PM
3Always think Win-Win
If everyone thought win-win, there would be no "opponents". My advice is to only enter deals that are win-win. This is the only way to truely win. If you take advantage of people it will come back on you ten-fold.
Comment 3 On:When You are Dealing with an Opponent, Start With What You Have in Common
Added On: 1/21/2009 7:12:42 PM
1